What do you see in this picture? The two circles in the middle are perfect circles, but the mind tricks us to see them as non-perfect, 'wavy' circles.
Yes, the mind tricks us all the time. And if you're female, you'd probably agree that you get tricked more. Or so you'd like to think you do.
These little mind tricks can be fun (except when you look in the mirror of course) and challenging, but what about in real-life circumstances when you find yourself stuck in the deep end of a sticky situation? What do you do when you think a person has an unfounded dislike for you? Or if you think you have offended someone without the intention to? What if you have just been told off by a colleague (or even worse your boss) for something that is totally out of your control? Or if you are in the midst of an argument and you are so tired of proving your point, you actually can't remember what point you set out to prove in the first place?
A lot of times, we don't like to be as paranoid. But, most times, somehow, these thoughts creep into our minds through a crack in our brain/heart. Too many times have we allowed our heart to mix with our brain. eg. Sam can't swim. He sees his little brother struggling in a deep pond. He dives in to 'save' him.
Being human, we like to find someone or at least something we can put the blame on. So, I am putting the blame on the mind for tricking us into thinking we have done something we haven't. (Actually, we don't have to blame anyone or anything. )
So how do we deal with it?
1. Calm down and pray!
2. Take a step back and re-examine yourself. What if I have actually done something here?
3. Drop all defenses. Try to look at the situation without being defensive. It is possible!
4. Talk with a proper tone of voice, and don't try to be smart.
5. Do your research. Listen to every word they have to say, and use logic and hard evidence to determine if they could be right. Words like 'you're useless', 'always' or 'never' is a big clue that they may be using emotion more than anything. Most likely you're NOT useless! And don't use those words either.
Get your 'feelings' out of the way, and get straight to the point. If you have something to say, let it only be something constructive or that can be backed up with real evidence.
If you are indeed in the wrong, by all means apologize and ask for forgiveness. The act of asking for forgiveness softens the heart of the person you wronged. (But please mean it!)
If you are not in the wrong and happen to find out that other people have similar problems with them, they probably need a reality check. Forgive them, and pray for them instead.Find it hard to forgive? We all do. Would you like to experience being free?
There is a saying that goes "Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear" .
It is what you want it to mean.
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Proverbs 17:14
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